Ah. You’ve gotta love the alternative communities.
This gem from the San Francisco Chronicle
Of sex toys, weapons and airplanes – http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/steinberg/detail?entry_id=43569 Now for those in the know, a whip is hardly a weapon. But as of course it’s metal, the TSA in Seattle has a field day (TSA and Seattle and me don’t go together… I sympathise completely).
” I watch her face as she digs through the cuffs, the latex straps, the blindfold, the ziplock bag with condoms, rubber gloves and lube, the ziplock bag with miscellaneous nipple clamps, butt plug, and so forth, Mark Chester’s wonderful spandex full-body bondage bag (if you don’t have one, you should, but that’s another story), the wonderful soft leather scratch gloves with the sharp metal points scattered across the palm and fingers. Her face stays 100% deadpan throughout, an impressive show of professionalism.”
Well at least they remained professional and non freaked out. Makes a change (and people wonder what’s in my kippy bag – here’s a hint: don’t ;))
“Finally she finds what she’s looking for — what I knew she would get to sooner or later — my springy little whip with the 6″ metal handle, the whip that no one knows seems to know how to categorize”
I’ll ding you 5 points for the z in categorise, but alas, this is your own fault alas. As much as the TSA in Seattle seem to wreck anything, there are sometimes a toy shouldn’t travel 😉
You can’t take this on the airplane,” the security guard says definitively, looking me staunchly in the eye.
“Why not?” I ask in all innocence.
“It’s a weapon,” she informs me.
I roll my eyes for dramatic effect. “That’s not a weapon,” I object plaintively, “it’s a toy.”
She continues to look me in the eye, neither humored nor annoyed — like I say, very professional. “Whatever it is, you can’t take it on the plane.”
Ah. The classic “is it a toy” discussion. Been there. Done that. Classed it as an artistic implement in my lost luggage… but at least she’s remained professional. To be honest, you can do a lot more damage with the gloves – but that of course is besides the point…
I’m told that I can take the whip back to the ticket counter and ask them to check it through as a separate piece of baggage. “Sometimes they’ll do that, sometimes they won’t,” the baggage inspector warns. I pick up the bag, then the whip. For the first time, her face softens. She really doesn’t hold it against me that I’m traveling with a whip.
“Tell them that security said you couldn’t take it on the plane,” she offers. “That should help.” I thank her for the advice.
She’s human. Maybe there is a human side to the TSA after all. And maybe she’s non-judgemental. Big thumbs up there. Now lets head to the ticket desk to wake up a ticketing person…
“What is it?” the ticket agent asks as she types someone else’s flight information into her computer.
“It’s a whip,” I say matter-of-factly, holding it up to show her.
The ticket agent stops typing, looks at the whip, looks at me, looks back at the whip.
“I won’t ask,” she says, as if to herself.
“I’ll tell you anything you want to know,” I say with exaggerated solicitude.
“That’s all right,” she declines.
I’m trying not to fall about laughing. Ok. That lasted all of 5 seconds. Sometime “vanillas” do need a push in the right direction. But professional at least.
So finally…
When you pick up your luggage, don’t forget that this one is a plastic bag,” she says as I start to leave.
I look at her and we both smile. “Don’t worry,” I say, “I won’t forget.”
Ahhh. And all is well in the world. However, if you’re planning to take “alternative props” with you, plan to 1) pack in your hold luggage, 2) collect TSA inspection forms, and 3) put proper and descriptive description of items.
Like everything, planning is so key to anything in life 😉
