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You are here: Home / Trips / Switzerland Day Out / TRIP REPORT: Older, Yes. Wiser? No – Coach Fun to Heathrow Airport

TRIP REPORT: Older, Yes. Wiser? No – Coach Fun to Heathrow Airport

22/12/2023 by Kevincm

Coach Fun to Heathrow Airport
Older. Yes, Wiser? No.

Older not wiser trip report header image

  • Age is a social construct. Frequent flyer programmes, doubly so.
  • Morning coaches. Coach Fun and comedies
  • British Airways Galleries North Lounge, Heathrow Terminal 5 
  • BA772 London Heathrow to Zurich (Eurotraveller)
  • Into Zurich
  • Experiments in photography: The Canon EOS R50
  • Back to Zurich Airport and a dreaded Text message
  • IC3 Zurich Airport to Basel Hbf
  • To EuroAirport Basel and The Queue from Hades
  • The Skyview Lounge, EuroAirport Basel 
  • BA749 Euroairport Basel to London Heathrow (EuroTraveller)
  • Little Britain at its worst
  • Older yes. Wiser? Dear deity… of course not!

Coach Comedies

Dozing off is never a good idea, and at 02:21, I woke up with a start – realising I had to be at the coach station in… 20 minutes, with the coach departing at 02:45.

Beep.

I found clothes that made sense, grabbed my bag (which I had at the doorway with my passport in it) and headed out, hailing an Uber. Thankfully, I had only a two-minute wait, and one was pulling up.

Wonderful.

The driver made haste through the dead of the Birmingham night, dropping me at the side entrance of Digbeth Coach station. That’s good in theory, however, the security guards had closed both side entrances – meaning one has to go around some poorly lit and surfaced roads as they rebuild this part of town to take the Metro.

They just love to make things more complex than needed, don’t they?

I walked inside the station, joining the queue for the 210 to Heathrow.

DIGBETH BUS STATION

Boarding took a lot longer than usual as people were falling fowl of National Express’s changes in baggage (which limits the quantity of luggage that people can take onboard.

My ticket was checked and I was accepted for travel to Heathrow Terminal 5.

National Express 210 Birmingham Digbeth to Heathrow

Price Paid: £13 Return

people standing next to a coach

For those who don’t know what a National Express coach is like… well it’s a coach with around 47 seats on it. The ones at the front can be reserved if you want to live the high life, but otherwise, it’s a free choice

And depending on your luck and the load, you might be able to nab two seats for yourself. This is unlike Flixbus, where every seat is bookable, and you can reserve two seats for yourself if you feel the urge.

I didn’t and chanced my luck – and it worked, with two seats to myself.

Nighttime on a coach

The route for this coach was a well-trodden one for me – it would first go to Birmingham Airport to pick up some passengers, before making a run down the M40 to Heathrow Airport, which it does at motorway speeds of up to 60mph – the advantage of this bus is that it skips Oxford (saving around 20 minutes on the journey).

Whilst there might be Wi-Fi aboard, it’s so unreliable, that it’s either slow or not working. At least this coach had USB-A sockets to plug one’s phone into.

It was a pretty clean run once the coach passed Birmingham Airport – picking up some passages on the way (and one who used my spare seat as a storage space).

Nighttime on a coach
Elmdon Building Site

The only minor oddity was that the coach didn’t peel off for the M4 for the Central Terminal Area – it rather continued on the M25 to leave the M25 at Junction for Terminal 5. Given that most of the coach was getting off there, it made sense, but it’s a little out of order in the coach’s stopping pattern, which would see it stop at Heathrow Bus Station first.

coach at heathrow airprot

Getting out at Heathrow T5, I made my way upstairs to the departures level.

Heathrow Terminal 5 Heathrow Terminal 5 Heathrow Terminal 5

Of course, things have changed, with premium check-in in Zone A and B now. This is good if you’ve arrived by tube or train, not so much if you arrived by Coach.

Heathrow Terminal 5

It’s also Christmas in the terminal.

Dior christmas tree in Heathrow Terminal 5
Dior Darling.

Nonetheless, I headed to a machine to get my paper boarding passes issued. Call me nostalgic, but I do love a paper boarding pass. It gives a sense of occasion to things, rather than just an electronic pass that gets filed away.

a white electronic kiosk with a screen on it a white electronic kiosk with a screen on it

Once those were in hand, it was time to head to South Security. With only a few people in the queue, I was processed in under five minutes.

Heathrow t5 FAST TRACK

That’s how fast-track security should be – fast and painless, not endless queues.

And since it is “that time of year”, be a nice person when you’re going through any security checkpoint – if there’s a place to stack your trays when you’ve completed the screening process – do so, please. Don’t leave them on a belt for someone else to clean up after..

a stack of trays on a metal surface
It’s not difficult to do this people.  

I checked my boarding pass – and it said that the plane would be going from Gate A8. That would mean the best lounge for this morning would be the North Lounge, rather than the South Lounge (with A8 being comparatively near).

Lounge sign - Heathrow terminal 5
Give me a lounge sign…

Heathrow terminal 5 Heathrow terminal 5
A festive Terminal 5 

I headed to the lounge to get comfortable – as well as breakfast.

a large screen with information and people in the background

Momma needs some celebration bubbles to kick the day into high gear.

Heathrow terminal 5

Next: British Airways Galleries North Lounge… why haven’t they called my aircraft for boarding… oh… 


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